How do you even start to explain shielding to someone who hasn't experienced it first hand?
March 2020:
I saw my family on the first of march, which was the end of a weekend we had away in Southampton visiting relatives. A week or two later I received a letter telling me I am classified as 'clinically extremely vulnerable' and needed to shield for 12 weeks. I was living with a friend at the time, and she very kindly moved in with her boyfriend so as to make sure I could shield completely and therefore reduce the risk of catching covid-19.
It didn't seem too different to begin with, I was gutted I could no longer go to the gym and see my friends but my CF team started up a Virtual Leisure Centre (VLC) and I joined that once or twice a week, I met some other CF patients- now friends- and it was good fun to still be able to exercise. The Psychology team also started doing weekly meetings which was open to all CF patients, talking about how we were coping with the lockdown, any methods we had to keep ourselves busy during the day and how we were coping with the medicines and other aspects of daily living with CF during a pandemic.
The other main difference for me personally was not doing my shopping anymore. My aunt lived about 30 minutes away from me and offered to do my shopping once a week for me. I know being vulnerable meant I could have a slot with a local supermarket but it was nice for me to see someone in person, even if it was from a distance, once a week! Plus, if anything on my list was out of stock she would be able to give me a call or make an informed decision rather than me recieving some of the random substitutions you can get. (My mum's friend once during lockdown ordered a 1kg bag of potatoes as part of her shop but instead received 2kg of carrots...not sure a jacket carrot is quite the same thing as a jacket potato!).
And of course, no one will remember the year 2020 without remembering..ZOOM QUIZZES! I did at least two a week every week for about 3 months or so, it's now January 2021 and I still think I couldn't do another zoom quiz anytime soon haha. I would do one with my family, my mum, my sister, my aunt, my mums partner and my aunts husband and I'd do another with a few girls from University. We would each take it in turn to plan the quizzes, there were so many categories to choose from by the end of the first lockdown and I somehow don't think I ever actually improved!
(After the 12 weeks ended we had another letter that asked us to continue shielding for another 12 weeks or so, I ended up spending 6 months shielding on my own. The only break I had was a two week stint in hospital for some IV antibiotics).
May 2020:
Some of you who have followed me on instagram for a while will remember that May is Cystic Fibrosis Awareness Month and last May during lockdown I decided to spread some awareness and post on instagram everyday. I tried to do something different each day and answer as many questions as I could about CF. There's so much to talk about with it because it's a complex illness that effects over 10,600 people in the UK, and it is different for everyone who has it. Having posted about it for the whole month | decided I wanted to continue spreading awareness, and so created this blog. I do find it difficult to keep up with as it is time consuming but also very personal. I wanted to make it though, so that I could inform people about CF and what it's like to live with it and hopefully to make others living with CF feel slightly less alone. (For anyone who doesn't know, people with CF are not allowed to mix with each other. Not just since Covid but for our whole lives. It's due to a cross-infection risk, but because of this it can be a very lonely and isolating illness).
June 2020:
Still shielding but started feeling a little under the weather and therefore spent a two week stay in hospital. I normally go in about every 3 months for 2 weeks of |V antibiotics just to help keep infections at bay and keep me as healthy as can be. I had been alone for several months by this time though and so went a little crazy being around so many people. The staff at the hospital are like a second family to me and it was nice being able to chat in person to them. Don't get me wrong though, I was ill and it was very safe. Before I was even allowed on the CF ward I had to have a covid test and test negative, then once on the ward I wasn't allowed to leave at all. Although thankfully in the second week they said I could go on a walk around the outside of the building with one of my physios just to let me get some fresh air, I was so happy I actually skipped off of the ward! Luckily for me my partner in crime was also in at this time and we had a lot of laughs together; from a safe distance of course.
Once I was out of the hospital I had to move flats, the tenancy ended at the end of June and my friend and her boyfriend moved into a place together so I moved out too. I managed to find a little flat for myself, I wasn't able to view it in person or online before getting it but luckily it is lush! I picked the keys up and had a quick look around and I was so relieved to find it so nice and clean. My aunt and her husband helped me move a few days later, I was still shielding so it was a little difficult but I packed it all up and they put it all in the van and took it all up to my flat and once they were done I went in and antibacterial sprayed it all and started unpacking. This was only a few days before my birthday but it was nice for me to have my own place and feel completely safe shielding in my own little flat.
My birthday was as uneventful as I'm sure you'd expect. I had to go back to my old flat just to finish cleaning and drop my keys off and then I spoke to my family and friends on FaceTime and ordered myself a Chinese which I enjoyed with a bottle of Rattler! (Rattler is a Cornish cider and is very nice).
July 2020:
By this point I was all moved in and unpacked and I continued with my VLC which I was doing a few days a week along with starting to go running in the park near me, I would run with a mask on just incase there were other people about. I was enjoying the sunshine and the freedom to be able to get out for fresh air but was also missing my family and friends a lot and really began to struggle. My aunt was very kindly still doing my shopping once a week for me though.
Let's be honest it's easier to feel happy when the sun is out and it's nice and warm; summer is my favourite season by far. Although, one day whilst I was on zoom doing some exercise it did get up to the mid thirties (Celsius) and it was so hot I just had to lay down on my cool floor!
(As I was writing this it started to snow! I'm not a big fan of snow in the UK as the UK struggles to function in extreme conditions, we function best at an overcast 11 degree Celsius sort of weather).
August 2020:
The 16th of August was the last day of shielding for me, the virus rates had dropped and things were looking better, including how lush the weather was. The 17th was the first time I had been anywhere since March and I went straight to the salon, I was incredibly anxious about it but it has to be very hygienic in there anyway and I actually felt very safe, my heart was still beating very fast but I'm glad I went; I had my hair, eyebrows and nails all done, I felt very fresh! The following day I drove home to Cornwall to see my family who I hadn't seen in 6 months and it was amazing; there was a lot of crying. I was home for a total of 3 weeks and was able to see a fair few of my friends in that time too, all whilst being safe and sensible about keeping our distance and wearing masks.
After my 3 weeks at home, my family and I went to Rhodes, Greece for 10 days. The holiday had been booked in January 2020 and hadn't been cancelled by the company or government. I spoke to my CF team and we weighed up the pros and cons of me going, I'm sure a lot of people will have judged and will be judging me now about my decision to go but here is a bit of my logic for anyone who is having trouble deciding for themselves what to do.
I have to be safer in my life than a lot of people but at the same time I have to live my life too. The airport itself was very safe and clean and everyone had to wear masks and keep a safe distance apart, and there was lots of security guards in place to make sure you followed the rules. The plane air is filtered at a very high temperature and is therefore (potentially) cleaner than supermarkets, obviously if you are next to someone who is ill then there is a chance you will get ill too but I was sat by my family and everyone was required to wear masks for the whole flight unless you were eating or drinking. Rhodes itself had had very few covid-19 cases as it is a little island and every member of staff at the hotel was required to wear a mask. If you wanted to go into a shop you also had to wear a mask but otherwise it was not a requirement and so I took the opportunity to not wear one around the resort. Aside from that, I had spent 6 months alone, and my family members are all classed as key workers and none of them had taken a day off for the whole 6 months, in some cases they weren't allowed to have any days off as people were off work due to shielding or isolating. So for the benefit of my mental health and theirs we decided it would do us all good to get away and enjoy some 'normality' together before we headed into winter. So judge all you like but at the end of the day it is a personal decision and it was my choice and I have no regrets.
October 2020:
I was back in hospital for another 10 day stay of IV antibiotics. After I got out I actually was able to start my college course, I'd been looking forward to it for a while. It is based in the college near me and up until Christmas we were allowed to go in to college. It's a Nail Technician course, anyone who knows me knows how much I love getting my own nails done and this was a chance for me to do something, learn a new skill and meet some new people. Most of my friends have moved, around the country (or world), and I wanted some friends who were a bit closer and who I could go have a coffee with. I was very nervous for the first week but I loved it, I've made a couple of friends, and despite one girl having to drop out I know we're going to keep in touch!
I was also worried that I wouldn't actually like the course or that I wouldn't be any good but I'm still loving it now and I'm not completely awful! I passed all the practical assessments we took before Christmas and although we haven't been able to go back in we have started learning acrylics and will soon move on to nail art; all from home. (In case anyone was wondering, I have a training hand to practice on, I don't practice on myself although I have done once or twice). There's a few theory papers we need to sit too but we can't do those until we are allowed back into the college. It's a lot of work and takes a lot of practice but I'm enjoying it and thrilled that I have something to do with my days. I actually think I will go on to do nails as a part time or full time job eventually, but for now I'm very happy to be learning and can't wait to practice all the different styles of nail art; I have so many Pinterest boards already!!
Along with being able to go to college, I was also doing my own shopping at the supermarkets and | even went into the town centre once or twice. Town was a nightmare and I did not enjoy it at all, the supermarket wasn't too bad though, some were worse than others but I was happy to be able to go in myself and have a browse.
December 2020:
No one would've thought that corona would still be alive and kicking by the end of the year but here we are still in and out of lockdowns and shielding. | was thankfully able to go home for another 3 weeks over Christmas and new year which I was very grateful for. I enjoyed being home but I didn't really get to see anyone other than my family. Although, I still haven't seen my dad and it's been about a year now. It was nice to spend some time at home, and I also took the opportunity to do my mum and sisters nails, for practice and because they wanted them done and I wasn't charging as it was practice for me!
Christmas itself wasn't that different for me, it was my mum, my sister and I and our two beautiful cats (Tabi and Berni), it was quiet but nice and we did FaceTime my aunt and her husband and my mum's partner too :)
New year was uneventful too, it's my boyfriend's birthday so I spent it with him and we had some takeaway and watched a film in bed, it was chill but really nice.
January 2021:
A new year has begun and corona sadly didn't disappear overnight. But there are some positives such as the new vaccines, and some hope that later this year people will be able to see their loved ones without panicking about getting or passing on covid-19. (As I was writing this my CF sister messaged to say she's just had her first coronavirus vaccine!).
My boyfriend and best friend are both carers and have thankfully been given the first dose of the vaccine too. I'm looking forward to getting mine and I'm hearing chatter that it will hopefully be sometime within the next month.
It has certainly not been an easy year for anyone, everyone deals with things differently and although my situation is not great I don't think of myself as better or worse off than anyone else, I try to think of everyone as equals and I hope everyone is able to get the vaccine as soon as possible and we will all be able to worry less and enjoy life more.
I'm currently back in hospital for some more IV antibiotics, I'm struggling a bit as I do feel lonely and being unwell is both difficult on your physical and mental health. It is also hard as I am shielding again (when I'm not in hospital), on my own and I don't know when I'll next be able to see my family or friends, I'm doing online shopping this time which has been fine so far but means I never leave my flat; I do try and go for walks though, so I don't completely lose my mind.
Being in hospital is difficult as I wasn't able to bring any of my nail kits in with me and I'm not feeling well enough to do much anyway, I'm also not allowed off the ward and the weekends are especially dull as there's not as many staff on to chat to! I've been in almost a week and I'm sure by the end of the next week I'll be feeling a lot better but it does take it's toll on you; that and the beds aren't the most comfortable in the world, can't wait to get home and starfish in my big comfy bed.
Looking forward to the rest of 2021:
Looking ahead I can see that it will still be tough but provided everyone is doing their best to follow the rules and look after the people around them we will make it to the end of the year, happier and healthier than the start of this year.
I don't tend to make New Years resolutions as there is a lot of pressure on the year to complete them, that being said I do have a goal or two in mind. I'd like to finish my college course, post more regularly on my blog and keep up with my medications. These all seem relatively straightforward but if I don't manage them it's not the end of the world. I know in my heart I'm trying my best and I can plan all I want but life will take it's own course. I believe in fate and that everything happens for a reason, but I take it with a pinch of salt and know that I can help decide my course in life too.
Good luck in all that you do each day, if you don't accomplish it all in one day that's ok, try again tomorrow, or the next day, and if you do that's fantastic! Just remember that even when your life starts to return to normal, there are some people who's lives aren't yet, and who still need you to take precautions to keep them safe xoxo
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